The Dark Knight Snoozes

Christopher Nolan desperately needs a sense of humor.

The Dark Knight Rises is so grim, so self-serious, that at some point halfway through the 2 hour and 40 minute slog, I just started laughing.

In no particular order, my thoughts:

-Increasingly, I’m beginning to realize and (appreciate) how much Heath Ledger made The Dark Knight watchable. Sure Bane has a weird voice and his neck is freakishly thick, but as a villain there’s not much that makes him compelling. I am not a comic book diehard, so I don’t know if that’s Nolan’s fault or the people that originally wrote Bane’s character. One thing’s for sure though, Heath Ledger’s Joker freaked the hell out of me because there was no backstory, no explication for his wanton, anarchic need for violence. That’s what was chilling. That and the bad clown makeup. 

-What is it with Christopher Nolan and lousy, uncute, child actors? Seriously. It was bad enough in Inception (Leo’s poor kids!) and Dark Knight, (Gary Oldman’s awful child actor son) but it was unbearable in The Dark Knight Rises.

-The National anthem scene? Cringeworthy in its lack of originality. Could smell that junk happening a mile away.

-Anne Hathway was just not believable as Catwoman. There’s an effortless sexiness that Hathaway just doesn’t have. Not that Angelina Jolie would ever stoop this level, but I found myself wondering how different Catwoman would have been if Jolie played her.  Someone in some magazine said that Hathaway was the best Catwoman ever. I’m assuming the bar is set really low. The sexual tension between Bale and Hathaway just wasn’t there.  And I totally predicted the random kiss that always seems to worm its way into these kinds of movies.

-I appreciate Whedon’s decision to excise any romance from The Avengers even more now. Apparently that was a temptation Nolan couldn’t resist.

-Why is Gotham so white?

-The whole prison thing was doing THE MOST. The cliches in that junk were too much!

The bottom line?

This movie was incredibly disappointing. I don’t understand why Richard Corliss thinks it’s the best superhero movie yet. It’s not. It’s long and overwrought.

I’m beginning to think that Christopher Nolan is one of the most overrated directors of our time.  He’s one of those directors that teenage boys who consider themselves blossoming cinephiles idolize. Like David Fincher.

I run in the opposite direction.

I should watch Memento before I reach a final verdict, but yeah guys, this Batman movie was a bust.

 

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