Halloween Haters

I am a Halloween hater.

Not by choice. My parents made sure every October 31st served as a solemn reminder of America’s godlessness.

We are African. And Africans don’t celebrate Halloween. The idea is actually ludicrous. Witchcraft is alive and well all over the continent and the theory goes, you should never flatter witches with imitation. Any attempts to tell my parents that we wouldn’t dress up as evil spirits fell on deaf ears.

I remember my first Halloween.

My sister and I used to take swimming lessons at the Y. Halloween fell on a Friday that year and all the other kids got to leave swimming class early to get ready. My sister and I were literally the only ones in the pool. We got home and I had swimmer’s ear, per usual, and my eyes were red from the chlorine and we had to take our cornrows out. And there was no candy.

Miserable.

To this day, Halloween always conjures up memories of sitting in our townhouse watching Kids Say the Darnest Things while an occasional child would ring the doorbell only to be peremptorily denied.

One year, my parents bought my brother a Bible-Man costume. It was one of those awful ideas that you read on progressive blogs when they want to make fun of religious fundamentalists. He had a cape and a sword. It was stupid. But he had fun.

So I admit I have a lot of baggage going into the holiday. But even now as a grown lady, I cry foul on Halloween. Nothing good has ever come of this holiday. Nothing.

Aside from the obvious stupidity of having little kids in costumes run around at night and solicit candy from strangers, Halloween is the night when all the racists come out in drunken, unabashed fashion. Neat campaigns that speak to this truth are ridiculed.

And candy rots your teeth. No good, I tell you, no good.

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One Comment on “Halloween Haters”

  1. kate says:

    Halloween is a fun day. I’m African, too, and while I knew some others who shared your parents views, my parents acknowledged that the day could just be celebrated as a day of fun, not for celebrating evil spirits. In all honesty, I think its stupid for people to even be against celebrating Halloween because of that stigma, because the day is only as “evil” as you allow it to be. Sometimes people use holy books as justifications to kill others. Does that mean that nobody should be religious, because some people don’t interpret a holy book the same way you do? No. And that’s the same way to see Halloween. If you just see it as a fun day to dress up in costumes and get candy, you’re not doing anything wrong. If you’re praying to the devil or w/e those sorts of people do, then obviously that is a different story. doesn’t matter if it’s on halloween or any other day. cause at the end of the day, halloween is just an ordinary day.

    Maybe that was just your parents way for getting out of buying you guys costumes every year and buying candy (which is unhealthy anyways). Cause otherwise, there’s really no reason against having fun on that day


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